Why Microaggressions Hurt and How You Can Be More Mindful of Them

A papercut is a precise, disproportionate kind of pain. It comes from nowhere, hits a dense cluster of nerve endings, and draws blood despite appearing minor. Somehow it keeps hurting longer than it has any right to.

That's what a microaggression feels like on the receiving end: quick, targeted, and rooted in a pattern the person has been hearing their whole life. This piece was originally written in 2021 by Tom Floyd, executive coach and founder of Flouracity. It remains one of the clearest frameworks available for how managers can understand microaggressions and respond when they happen at work.

What are microaggressions and why do they hurt?

The term microaggression was coined by psychiatrist and Harvard professor Chester M. Pierce in the 1970s to describe the insults and dismissals Black Americans experienced on a regular basis. By the early 21st century, the term expanded to cover the casual degradation of any socially marginalized group, including LGBTQ+ people, people living in poverty, and people who are differently abled.

Microaggressions are comments said casually in conversation. In many cases they're well intentioned from the person saying them. But the impact is painful because it's rooted in a negative belief or stereotype the person on the receiving end has been navigating their entire life.

There are thousands of microaggressions. Capturing all of them in one place is impossible. But as the examples below show, they're not always directed only at people from underrepresented groups. We also apply them to colleagues and teams based on role, function, and seniority.

Why hearing them every day changes the math

A single papercut passes. The same cut every day at the same printer changes how you feel about printing anything at all.

That's the cumulative effect microaggressions have. Each individual comment may seem minor to the person who said it. But to the person on the receiving end, it connects to a pattern they've been navigating across every area of their life: at work, at home, in public. That context is what makes a seemingly small comment land the way it does.

Why microaggressions are hard for managers to address

When someone raises a pattern of microaggressions they're experiencing, managers often react internally before they say anything. Some of the most common reactions:

• "What even is a microaggression?"
• "What's the big deal?"
• "I don't think we should be talking about this at work."
• "What if I make it worse?"
• "I want to help, but I don't know how to have this conversation."

These reactions are understandable. They're also exactly what makes it easy for microaggressions to go unaddressed.

The unconscious bias behind every microaggression

Both evolution and physiology have shaped how our brains categorize people. We form beliefs based on initial impressions, what we read, and what we experience, especially under stress. And we hold negative beliefs not just about groups different from our own, but about our own communities too.

Here's what that means practically:

• Everyone carries unconscious biases that prevent fully impartial judgment. No one is exempt.
• Those biases leak into what we say, usually from a well-intentioned place.
• The impact of what we say connects to painful messages the other person has heard throughout their entire life. Good intentions don't change that impact.
• When managers acknowledge they've made a mistake, say they're ready to learn, and create space to talk, they don't just make it safer for one person to speak up. They signal to everyone on the team that this kind of accountability is what psychological safety actually looks like.

As Gruenert and Whitaker put it:

"The culture of any organization is shaped by the worst behavior its leader is willing to tolerate."

How to respond when a microaggression happens at work

When someone on your team raises a concern about a microaggression, including one you may have said, here is what you can do in the moment.

Stay calm

Whether you're witnessing a microaggression, on the receiving end of one, or realizing you just said one, you're going to feel strong emotions: anger, anxiety, frustration, discomfort, surprise. Stay calm and stay receptive. The instinct to defend yourself, deny the impact, or minimize what happened is exactly what makes the situation worse.

Say "I'm sorry"

When someone brings a microaggression to your attention, a single genuine apology is what they need. Don't over-apologize. When you repeat "I'm sorry" repeatedly, you shift the pressure onto the other person to manage your discomfort on top of the impact they just experienced. One clear, sincere apology is enough.

Decide whether to talk now or later

There will be situations where it's better to return to the conversation later. Use your judgment based on context: what the other person is saying, who else is present, and the immediate impact on the room. The main thing to avoid is forcing a conversation when the situation suggests otherwise. Building a speak-up culture means knowing when to open a door and when to give someone time first.

What the data shows about microaggressions in 2025 and 2026

When this post was first published in 2021, conversations about microaggressions at work were beginning to enter mainstream management training. Research since then has made the scale of the problem clearer and the business case for addressing it stronger.

Microaggressions remain widespread and underreported

A 2023 study across five countries found that 60% of employees had experienced microaggressions at work, with women twice as likely as men to be on the receiving end. According to Gallup research published in 2023, 68% of Americans describe microaggressions in the workplace as a serious problem. Yet most go unreported: employees frequently stay silent because they don't believe reporting will change anything, or because they fear consequences for raising concerns. The gap between what employees experience and what managers hear is exactly what anonymous reporting channels are designed to close.

Organizations with inclusive cultures retain more people

Research consistently links frequent exposure to microaggressions with significantly higher intent to leave. Employees who feel their concerns go unheard are far more likely to exit within a year. The manager response Tom Floyd describes here, staying calm, acknowledging impact, and creating space to talk, is what diversity and inclusion best practices look like in day-to-day practice, not just in policy documents. For organizations that want to know whether those practices are actually working, structured data from employee relations cases shows you the gap between your stated values and what people are actually experiencing on the ground.

Tom Floyd is an executive coach and founder of Flouracity, a professional development company that helps managers grow in their careers, leaders flourish in their roles, and people become the best version of themselves.